We Will Praise You in this Storm

It's with great sadness that I write this today. We have been praying for a miracle for the last couple of weeks, but are starting to understand that the miracle God is working in our lives may not look like we thought it would.

Many of you probably don't know this but we found out that we were expecting a baby about a month ago. We were elated and excited and eagerly started to count down the days until Baby Jordan would arrive. But when it was time to take a peek inside to see what the little one was up to, it revealed some concerns. We have monitored this little baby for the last two weeks via several ultrasounds (some have looked hopeful while others have showed signs of trouble) and it has been a large mix of emotions. We have tried to remain hopeful as we know that God is powerful and works miracles everyday. But after last night's appointment, it is becoming more clear that God might have a different plan for this baby and our lives.

We, and many of the prayer warriors in our lives, prayed all week that we would be able to see a heartbeat at this appointment. A sign of hope that this little one still had a chance. And God answered our prayer, although not as we expected. We did see that little heart beating and it was such a beautiful thing to see. Such a miraculous sign of the life that's been growing for 8 weeks. But with the joy came great sadness because it was way too slow for a baby at 8 weeks (48 BPM) and the baby was the exact same size as it was a week ago.

And it's a funny thing, as soon as I saw that heart beat I felt more attached to this baby than ever; I felt an overwhelming sense of loss. I felt more sadness after last night's appointment because I saw our little one in there fighting to live for the first time. I actually thought to myself, "God why would you show us this heartbeat if you know we are going to lose this baby?" But after all the emotions of the last twelve hours, I am so thankful that we got to see such an obvious sign of this life God blessed us with.

We will always love and miss this first little life that was part of this family and this baby will have a special place in our hearts always. I feel comfort in knowing that when this baby's time comes that the God who has unconditionally loved me for 27 years will take this baby home to be with Him.

We promised the Lord everyday that no matter the outcome we would praise Him. We know not what He has in store for us, but we trust that this is all part of His master plan. Lord, just like the song says, we will praise you in this Storm.

Click Here to Hear the Song


Praise You In This Storm
By Casting Crowns

Lord I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth